Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world...

Apropos of nothing, these are just some headlines that appeared in my local newspaper (Chicago Sun-Times) all on one day. You don't really need the stories behind them. Make of them what you will...

• Californian accused in death of ficus

• 79-year-old allegedly tried to rob bank

• He’s been a college senior for 24 years

• Gunmen throw 5 heads on dance floor in Mexico

• Fish that are both male and female discovered in Potomac

• Trio accused of robbing Wis. grave in hope of sex

• Colleges kick out suicidal students

• Militant waited 24 years to shoot Westerners