iGotta Have It...

Damn you, Apple. Damn you to hell, Steve Jobs. I didn't NEED a Mac, but once I got my hands on one I had to have it. I didn't NEED a Mac laptop, but you made it so cool with all of those colors and shit, that when it came time to get one so I'm never away from a Mac, I chose you. I don't NEED an iPod, hell the WORLD didn't need an iPod, but goddamn if everyone on the bus doesn't have those little white wires dripping from their ears and I'm counting pennies to get one and become a Stepford commuter. And now this...

Look, Jobs-y, I have a cell phone. It works fine. I call people, I talk to them, I hang up, I move on. It has a little calendar, makes cute noises when it rings, I can even set it to wake me up in the morning. But now I'm already jonesing for this damn thing and it just came out. What do I need with a phone with maps of the entire United States right at my fingertips? I never go anywhere anyway, and when I do, I usually fly and I figure the pilot knows the directions. But suddenly I want to be able to spot every Target within a 10 mile radius of me.

But this phone... this phone that does everything but grind and brew coffee (wait, does it do that too?). I want this iPhone shit. Damn you Steve Jobs. iMac. iPod. iPhone. If he ever makes iCigarettes, we're all fucked.

Now if I can only get some iMoney...